And I'm feeling GOOD!
Normally, by this time in my trip I'm struggling. The depressive (to me) weight of the city and its vibe would have brought me to my knees so to speak. But not this time. Something about this go-round is way different. And since I'm fairly sure the city itself hasn't changed - still wake to the news of the latest violent crimes and get unwanted contact highs every so many minutes whilst outside. So obviously the change must have occurred in me.
In case you weren't aware, I am back, again, in my 'hometown'. I'm back as usual to do some Simply Self-Published workshops; to hopefully sell a bunch of books, and to spend time hanging with my family and friends. Check out my past hometown posts...not the most uplifting words I've ever written, lol.
This place, whew....when I left 16 years ago I vowed I would never, ever, come back to live. That sentiment hasn't changed. I'm not cut out for the weather here anymore. I endured it as a child for obvious reasons but with adulting comes choice and I choose to live where the snowfall is an anomaly (despite it having happened where I moved to EVERY year I've lived there). So no, will not be volunteering to relocate back here. Coming back to visit was a chore in and of itself.
But not this trip. Well, full disclosure, I did have a slight dip in mood once the wheels crossed over into Kansas. Some of that is because the drive takes on a tedium that is hard to describe. There's that stretch of wide-open spaces between Topeka and the eastern suburbs of the Denver metro area that lends itself to hallucinations. I dread this part of the drive the most. My driving companion and I hit the road coming out of Topeka and the familiar dark cloud (figuratively and literally as it was a touch stormy in Kansas that morning) settled on me.
At some point though, the skies, conversation, and my mood began to lift. I dismissed the burgeoning 'feel good' as a temporary thing. Surely once my driving companion was gone and I was once again 'alone' in the city, I'd once again wear the heavy load being in this place puts on my shoulders.
Imagine my surprise when that didn't happen. Three days in and I noticed I was still feeling buoyant, floaty, LIGHT, near-weightless if you will. What changed? Simple answer? My mind. I can't describe how. I'll leave that up to the gurus who charge the big bucks to alter your mindset. I will instead tell you that the catalysts were words.
As is always the case, it comes down to words, this time spoken instead of written, that unlocked the chains, then released me to feel/think/be different.
It always comes back to the words. As I sit basking in the glow, I want to ask, have you paid attention to how the words you hear, read, and say, affect you? You are inundated by words from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. I challenge you to take some time after reading this post to think about the words you just read, then comment below on how you feel after having read them. Expand your review to the other words you've encountered today - those you heard, read and said to yourself and others. How do you FEEL? Let me know, I'm really curious.
That's it for this post. As always, sending love and inspiration.